Description:
On MLK Day this year I decided to try this trail, knowing full well how shitty everyone else says it is. Must have been White Guilt. But instead of being lost in an ocean of rocks and cactus spines, as I had expected, I was punished for my sins and those of my ancestors by a disturbingly eroded, steep, gullied-out clusterf%!# with lots of stumbles down into, across and back up out of rocky, sandy washes. Some of the gully erosion is almost as tall as I am deep. Wait, I mean... But it wasn't difficult to follow, and not too overgrown, either. Someone must have Brushanuary-ed it. Anyway, I started at the bottom and rode (pushed) up to Cumberland, and I can see how it might be very hard to follow at the top end when the grass is taller. That said, I think I actually disliked the section above Cow Pies less, since riding mediocre trail is better than pushing a bike up it, and there was more pushing down low. I have a problem with the trail's rock formation namesake: When was baby Jesus ever upright? More like toddler Jesus. I saw some horsey people who did stereotypical things like wear cowboy hats, carry sidearms, draw maps in the dirt and pretend Arizona has a drawl. Then I turned around and pinned my hopes on a better descent down the Cow Pies trail. Unlike Toddler Jesus trail, this one's name says it all.
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    Coordinates: 32.471353, -110.860472

        Previous Reports

        statusdatedescription
        Mar 16, 2026 @ 8:48am
        Mar 16, 2026
        From Cow Pies tie in - the top 1/4 of the trail still has some significantly difficult sections, but downhill of that the trail work has made the... view
        Feb 3, 2026 @ 12:08pm
        Feb 3, 2026
        Fresh trail work! Surface is soft, but rides fine. view
        Dec 22, 2025 @ 12:09pm
        Dec 22, 2025
        Trail is being updated and re-routed by TORCA. Lots of work being done to make it a descent trail - monthly trail days for the next few months! view

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